30 Lessons I Hope to Teach My Daughter

Birthdays come and go every year.  We all have one, but for some reason, some birthdays seem to require an little something extra because they are a major milestone in life.  Turning 30 seems like one of those milestones to me.

I remember turning 21, the last big milestone I feel like I went through.  I was a senior in college and having the time of my life.  I was finally legal, though what I was legal to do may or may not have happened once or twice (or maybe more) before I was 21.  But I remember getting all dolled up and painting the town red.  Turning 21 was a lot of fun...

And I really remember turning 15.  In my culture and in my faith, it was a big deal to have a quinceanera, and boy did my mom make sure that I had one I would never forget!  I had a beautiful mass and an awesome reception where me and all my friends got to celebrate my transition from childhood to young womanhood.  I remember feeling like such a grown up!  Little did I know...

I can remember turning 10, knowing that I was no longer in single digits.  I had a big slumber party at my house with all my friends, riding bikes till sunset and staying up all night to watch Gremlins.  This was such a fun birthday celebration!

And though I can't remember it, I am sure turning 1 was a big deal, too.  I am sure I got lots of cards and lots of presents, but it was probably the most fun for my parents to have achieved that major milestone of surviving the first year.

I know that feeling all too well...it was only 6 months ago that Julian and I were celebrating Jillian's first birthday.  

To be honest, that's what makes this birthday so special to me...Jillian is really the best gift I could have ever received, and having her with me on my 30th birthday will be that little something extra special that is the icing on my birthday cake.  Spending the day with my child and my amazing husband in the home we built, surrounded by the memories of the life we are creating...surely it doesn't get any better than this!

As I look back on the major birthday milestones of my life, I cannot help but think of all the birthday milestones we have yet to live with our daughter.  And I hope and pray that on her 30th birthday, she can look back fondly on the life she has lived thus far.  I feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility to help shape that life into the greatest story ever told...her story.  Along the way, I hope we teach her some amazing lessons about life.  Here are the 30 lessons I hope to teach my daughter before she turns 30...

1. Live a life worth telling your kids and grandkids about.
2. Learn as much as you can - from books, from mistakes, and from your family.
3. "When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you Dance!" - LeAnn Womack

4. Be kind to others, through your actions, words, and thoughts, and they will be kind to you.

5. Be the brains, and the beauty will follow.

6. Respect your body and respect yourself.

7. Travel...you will learn more about yourself and the ways of the world when you go outside of your comfort zone.

8. Live and love with deep passion.

9. Love music and listen to lyrics...they can change your life.

10. "Do what you will, always; Walk where you like, your steps;  Do as you please, I'll back you up." - DMB

11. Be the kind of friend you want to have.

12. Your daddy will love you more than any man you will ever meet.

13. Never depend on anyone else to give you what you want. Work hard to get it yourself.

14. “To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” – Anatole France

15. Plans are made to be broken.

16. Cherish and reflect on every single moment...and don't forget to take pictures!

17. Live for the day that someone calls you mommy.

18. Decide who you want to be and be confident in your decision.

19. I will love whoever you choose to love.

20. Life is an amazing journey with highs and lows...learn to live in the highs and hold on to those closest to you through the lows.

21. "Don't feel entitled to anything you didn't sweat and struggle for." - Marian Edelman

22. Promises are always worth keeping.

23. Happiness is a choice that I hope you choose to make.

24. Apologize when you should, and forgive but don't forget.

25. You will always remember your first...make it worth the memory.

26. Sometimes I will choose to be your mom, not your friend.

27. You will always be my little girl, because "(I) know every story, every wound, every memory. (Your) whole life's happiness is wrapped up in (me)." - Stepmom movie 
28. Mean what you say and say what you mean.

29. Don't ever forget where you came from and what it took to get you where you are now.

30. Your daddy and I will always love you and be there for you.  We will always be your home.

Life Lessons From Grandma Pauline

Today is a somber day for me and my family.  It has been 2 years since the passing of my sweet Grandma Pauline.  I have found myself thinking a whole lot about my Grandma Pauline lately and all the amazing lessons I learned from her.  I want to make sure that I don't ever forget some of the things she taught me, so I think I will write some of them down.  Though it has been over 2 years since I saw her last, not a day goes by that I don't think of her.  Unfortunately, time also has a way of making us forget...forget the way someone smelled, forget the things they used to say, forget to thank God for the time we had with someone.  This is just my small attempt to try to hold on desperately to those memories...

This was the last time I saw my Grandma Pauline.  I was pregnant with Jillian and hoped she would one day meet my daughter.  Though Jillian never met Grandma Pauline in person, I know that my Grandma Pauline met Jillian in Heaven, when Grandma was on her way in and Jillian was on her way out of Heaven to join us in this life.

My Grandma Pauline wasn't actually my "Grandma."  She was my mom's Grandma, technically my Great-Grandma.  We never called her that though.  To all of us, she was Grandma Pauline.  She was born in 1911 and lived to be 99 years old. 99...can you even fathom that?!  99 years on God's earth, living through the best of times and the worst of times and everything in between. 

The more I talk to people, the more I realize how blessed our family was to have our matriarch for that long.  Everyone has their story about their grandparents and how old they lived to be.  And unfortunately, some have stories of how they lost them, in essence, before they passed away.  It makes my heart really happy to know that my family was blessed with Grandma Pauline, who was there with us till her dying day in body and in mind and in spirit.  I remember a younger, more agile Granny, so full of life, even though she seemed ancient when I was little.  But the older I got, the more I remember her slowing down.   Even still in her old age, she was very lucid and had the best memory.  She had a bunch of pictures of family members in her home and every time I went to see her, I could ask her about any one of those photos.  She could tell you who was in the picture, when it was taken, and their whole life story, including stories of when so-and-so was little, what a character he/she was, and where they were now that they were all grown up, and who they married, and who their kids were...  Or you could ask her stories of her own life and her own past, and she could recall things from waaaaaaaaaay back.  She still lived in her own home and for the most part, still took care of herself.  Everyday, she would wake up and make herself all her meals, and clean her house, and hang her laundry on the clothesline.  She really was a rarity...a gem...for all that she was able to do at her age.

Grandma Pauline in her room.   I miss this sight more than words can ever express.

These are probably the biggest lesson of all that I learned from my Grandma Pauline...to live each day to the fullest.  To take care of myself so that I can one day live to be 99, too.  To keep my mind sharp and my body moving.  She lived through more than 8 generations of our family, remembering stories or tidbits about her great grandparents, her grandparents, her parents, her and her siblings, her kids, her grandkids, her great-grandkids, and her great-grandkids' kids too!  She lived...I mean really lived...for a long time.  99 years, 2 months, and 3 weeks to be exact. 

I believe that everyone has a "Grandma Pauline"...that grandparent (or two, or three, or four) that truly made a lasting imprint on your life.  For all the little lessons they passed down, by word of mouth, or by writing it down, or by simply living their life to the fullest, be sure to take the time to tuck that memory away and keep it in a safe place because time will continue on and will slowly make that memory fade. 

I miss you sweet Granny!  I know you will be with me always!

Me and my Grandma Pauline, circa 1986

Happy Birthday to Daddy!

Today is Julian's 28th Birthday!!!  When we first met, he was 20 years old, and the day after we moved to College Station, he turned 21.   Hard to believe that he is already turning 28 years old!!!

Julian had a low-key birthday this year.  We had dinner with friends on Sunday, and then a few of his favorite things today.  We went to the movies, then got Jillian from school, then dinner at Texas Roadhouse. And our last stop was Cafe Eccell to get Julian's favorite dessert, a Strawberry Tart.  We brought the tart home so we could celebrate at home as a family.

Jillian blew out Daddy's candle and made us sing Happy Birthday over and over again

But the highlight of Julian's birthday was Jillian singing Happy Birthday to Daddy!  Happy Birthday is her favorite song, even if she sings a little off key and doesn't always get the words just right.

Jilly Bear showered Daddy with lots of hugs, kisses, and Happy Birthday renditions that I know made this birthday extra special.  I love you more and more every day and I hope you had the best birthday ever.  And you're welcome for giving you the best present ever...a happy birthday-singin, daddy-lovin' Jilly Bear!  Here's to many more, my love!!!

Jillian Meets Cousin Mikey

Jillian was so excited to go to El Paso to meet her new baby cousin Mikey!  Mikey was born on July 3rd while we were in Aruba.  We could not wait for baby Mikey to join our family, and his birth story is actually a little crazy...

Mikey is the son of my brother Mike and his wife Jen.  They already have a child together, my niece Lauren.  Mike and Jen have been friends for over 13 years and have been together for nearly 8 years.  But they did not officially get married until the day before Mikey was born. Those two crazy kids went to the courthouse on July 2nd at 4 PM (yes, right before they closed for the day) and made it official.  The next day, my sister-in-law went into labor and Mikey was born.  As I mentioned, we were in Aruba and so all these important family updates came to me via email.  Talk about my surprise to find out that my big brother got married and had a baby boy all within 24 hours!

  

I knew that we would not be able to meet baby Mikey until he was already about a month old.  We could not wait to get to El Paso so we could meet the new addition to our family.  I showed Jillian lots of pictures of him before we got there, but she was excited to see him in person.  Jillian would point to Mikey and say "baby Mike."  And then she would run off to go play with cousin Lauren instead!

It was fun to see them all together.  It was clear that Lauren really loved her baby brother.  When he would cry, she would go over to him to try to comfort him...and Jillian would just look around for someone else to make him stop crying.

Jillian would try to share her toys with him and would try to play with him.  But, she realized that he does not quite play back yet.  I think it will be about a year until Jillian, Mikey, and Lauren are all running around together laughing, playing, and enjoying each other's company.

I really enjoyed meeting this little guy!  Even though he is only a month old, he is very much a BOY!  He smells like a boy (a cute baby boy), he looks like a boy, and changing his diaper was certainly interesting!  

I enjoyed holding baby Mikey any chance I got! It took some getting used to because holding an 8-pound 1-month-old is very different than lugging around a 25-pound 18-month old.  I really enjoyed cuddling with him and it made me almost ready to have another little one of my own...uh oh, sorry Julian!  Hope you are almost ready too!!!

(Not so) Silly Jilly: Bye Bye Binky

We decided it was time for Jillian to give up her binkies. I knew that we wanted to do this sooner rather than later because I know it only gets harder the older they get. Jillian was really only using the Binky at nap time and at bed time. but she really loves her Binky!
I have been dreading this transition for a while now. I knew that 18 months was the magic age that I wanted to take it away from her. So now that she is over 18 months, this weekend was chosen for Operation No More Binkies. When it was time for Jilly to go to sleep on Friday night, she asked for her Binky as part of her bedtime routine. Julian and I sat her down and broke the news. And, well, we maaaaaaaaaaaay have told her a little lie...
Since we just got back from El Paso, she just got done seeing her new baby cousin Mikey. He is only a month old. So we told Jillian that she had no more binkies because we had to give them all to baby Mikey. We told her that Mikey needs them because he is just a little baby, and that she didn't need them anymore.
And, well...she was devastated! She seemed to really understand what we were telling her about why she had no more binkies, but she was heartbroken that we sent them away. She cried that night for 40 minutes - devastated, heart-broken cries.  Our hearts broke for her, and I almost gave in...almost!
By nap time on Saturday, her grief had passed and she was just straight angry. At nap time, she asked for her Binky and I again told her that we sent them to baby Mikey. This time, she cried for 25 minutes straight - full out tantrum, flailing cries. It was bad...let's just say that she got put in her crib to flail/cry/throw a tantrum by herself. But she fell asleep about 5 minutes later.
And then bedtime on Saturday, Jillian again asked for her Binky. Same story. I guess she was starting to come to grips with it because she only whined for about 5 minutes, but she stopped when we said her prayers and sang "You Are My Sunshine." so it was definitely getting better.
By bedtime on Sunday, she asked for her Binky, got the same story, and just kept going, asking for her other bedtime comforts. No crying this time.
So, I think it's safe to say that Operation No More Binkies was a success.  I think/hope/pray I didn't speak too soon....

Silly Jilly: Movin' On Up Again

It's time for Jillian to move up to a new class again!  And just like last time, she is coming home looking more and more messy.  I guess the older they get, the more messes they can get themselves into.

To say thank you to her teachers, Jillian made brownies for them to enjoy (ok, Jillian didn't make them...and I didn't make them...Auntie Andy did)!

Jilly will miss her old teachers and her friends in her old class.  But she is looking forward to being with kids her own age with new teachers who will teach her new things!

Silly Jilly: Twin-kies!

The other day, I took Jillian to school and discovered that she had on the EXACT same outfit as one of her classmates/friends at school!  They had on the same little dress with silver shoes and a white bow off  to the side.  

Aubrey and Jillian as Twin-kies!

In the world of women, this would be unheard of...a catastrophe...a mortal sin!  Thank goodness they are only 1-year-old girls who don't care about petty things like that.  I thought it was super cute and apparently, people had been going by their class all day to look at Jillian and Aubrey dressed like twins!

Silly Jilly, may you always think it's cute to dress just like one of your friends! :)

Fun with Auntie Andy!

We did so many fun things when Auntie Andy was here to visit.  We went to the movies, watched so much HIMYM/Olympics, made meals and brownies together, and got Strawberry Tarts from Cafe Eccell.  But to beat this Texas summer heat, we also went to two of our favorite places.  

JJ's Snowcones

And the pool!  We decided to go to a new pool, and there is this cute pool/mini water park in College Station called Adamson's Lagoon.  Our friends, Adriana and Franco, told us about it and it certainly lived up to the hype!

Adamson's Lagoon had a perfect little kiddie zone for Jilly!  It came complete with a slide that she LOVED going on over and over again.

And it had two big kid slides that Julian loved going on over and over again.  

We had such a great time at the pool together!  And overall, we enjoyed our visit from Auntie Andy!  We loved having you here and I hope you know that you are welcomed back anytime!

Like Two Peas in a Pod

Andrea, Julian's sister, decided to come visit us all the way from Virginia.  It was the first time she had been on a plane by herself, and we are so glad that she chose to come here to see us in the Great State of Texas (cue: Julian cringing)!  

One of the main things that Andrea wanted to do was take a tour of colleges while she was here.  She is a high school senior and is looking at colleges with great engineering programs.  Since both Texas A&M and UT are on the list, it was important for her to tour both.  Now, since I am an Aggie, of course I set up for her to tour A&M a long time ago, but this time, she really wanted to take a tour of that other school down in Austin.  So I contacted a friend and colleague of mine, Esmer, who works with New Student Orientation at UT.  She asked two of her Orientation Advisers, Farzad and Ali, to give us a tour.  

I have to admit that I had to tell Andrea (and myself) that I was going to try my hardest not to be (too) biased about UT.  I think I succeeded failed miserably!  On a positive note, the campus is pretty with nice buildings, and their openness to diversity is evident in both the campus climate and the make-up of the people we saw there.  I can (almost) see the charm of UT...but it's no Aggieland!!! 

I digress...it really doesn't matter whether I like it...Andy really enjoyed her time on the UT campus!  She has taken tours of other colleges on the east coast and she said that UT definitely ranks up there for her.  I am just happy that she is willing to take time to explore her college options and make the best decision for her future (and that her parents are supportive of this).  She is a futuristic thinker who can adapt to any situation (yes, I made her take StrengthsQuest and yes, futuristic and adaptability are in her top 5). And anything that brings her closer to us cannot be a bad thing!

As a student affairs professional (read: nerd), it was important for me to see their student union space.  UT has 2 student unions, a more traditional building and a new Student Activities Center.  I think I could like this place...after all, they had a Taco Cabana Rapido in their Center.  What's not to like?!

We spent many nights making dinner together and it was awesome to have an extra pair of hands working to make dinner/play with Jillian/clean up after.  Julian and Andrea worked to make homemade french fries together, just like their mom had shown them.  Isn't that cute??!!

Julian and Andrea are like 2 peas in a pod!  It was awesome to see them together this whole trip because it is apparent that they are cut from the same fabric.  At one point in life, their 11-year age difference seemed much greater, like when I first met them.  What did a 9-year-old Andrea and a 20-year-old Julian have in common?  But now, at 16 and 27, it is clear that they have much more to relate to each other on.  They would stay up at night talking/playing on their iPads/watching the Olympics/laughing at YouTube videos/acting like teenagers! They finished each other's sentences, laughed at family inside jokes, and connected on their shared experiences. 

Mari and Jose, I know you weren't here to see it firsthand.  But I am sure you experienced it from the stories you heard or group family text messages...your kids had a great time together and truly enjoyed each other's company!  You both did such a good job raising them, and they are both a perfect combination of each of you.  And though they are so far apart in age, it is clear that you instilled in them an undying and unwavering sense of family.  As siblings, it was amazing to see them live that value, so thanks for that!  I know they make you proud. :)

I can't wait for Jillian to have a sibling so I can see her get to experience this too!

Life As a House: Happy House-iversary!

One year ago today, Julian and I officially became homeowners!

What an amazing ride it has been so far!  There is nothing like owning a house that can make you feel like a grown-up.  It is very surreal to come home everyday to the place that is your own.  Julian and I both work so hard to make our house a home and together with Jillian, we are making memories around every corner!

It definitely takes more effort to maintain a home than I ever would have imagined. Julian and I spend many a nights reflecting on all the heart and soul (and time and money) that we pour into our home and all the reward and joy we feel from our first home.  

I seriously keep waiting for someone to come take my garage door opener away...to tell us, "hey, thanks for housesitting for us this past year.  Now go find your own home..."  

But that's not gonna happen because this is our Home Sweet Home!  How sweet it is!