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| This is only a small portion of the toys...I had already organized all the stuff in her room! |
I know what this may look like to you...it's just a pile of toys...
But it's not "just a pile" to me.
Over the holiday break, I knew that we were in need of some major cleaning/organizing. So I set out to organize closets and clean up the clutter. That included organizing Jillian's toys so I could throw some out. Little did I know that these simple tasks would tug at my heart strings so much.
One of my favorite movies of all time is the movie "Stepmom." And one of my favorite lines in the movie happens when Julia Roberts (the stepmom) goes to dinner with Susan Sarandon (the mom). Julia tells Susan:
"You know every story, every wound, every memory. Their whole lives' happiness is wrapped up in you...every single second."
Trust me, I have had a few "mom" moments in my time with Jillian and Alex where I realize that enormous responsibility that I have in being their mom. But I was so struck, as I was going through all her little trinkets and deciding which toys to keep.
I remembered the story of every toy. I remembered who gave it to her, or when she got it, or when she played with it. I remembered the big toys that lit up her world on Christmas morning. Or the little toy that she carried around in her pocket for 2 weeks straight. And I couldn't get rid of a single one because at some point or another, they meant something to her.
Now, maybe I've been watching too much Toy Story 3 with Jilly and Bubs, but I can't help but think of how quickly time will pass. I know I only have nearly 3 years of stuff for her, and nearly 6 months of stuff for him. And I know I have a lifetime's worth left to go. But I bawled like a baby reflecting on how "(I) knew every story, every wound, every memory. (My kids') whole lives' happiness is wrapped up in
(ME)."
So, I kept it. All of it. Every toy. Every story. Every memory. And I'll keep it all safely tucked away in my heart.
