Lesson Learned from the Passing of an Old Friend

This was on the cover of the El Paso Times in September 2005.

It's a picture of Julian and I celebrating with our friend, Thomas Howard, after a UTEP double overtime win.  We had just moved away from El Paso, but we knew that we wanted to go back to El Paso to watch UTEP in their season home opener.  On our way, we sent a text to Thomas to tell him we were coming back to watch him play.  So when he saw us in the front row after the game, he came over to the stands to celebrate with us and all his other fans.  It was a great time to see our friend at such a happy moment.

This same picture was in the El Paso Times again today for the worst reason possible...to share the news of Thomas Howard's passing.  He was 30 years old.  

This is our view of him coming up to say hello

Yesterday was a terrible day as we learned of this news.  Julian called me at work around 5 PM to say that he saw something on ESPN.com that said "Ex-Raider Thomas Howard dies."  He said he couldn't believe it so he clicked on the article and up came a picture of this familiar face.  

Like so many people -- family, friends, teammates of his, and fans (both from UTEP and from the NFL), -- it is so tragic to think that he died.  He turned 30 in July and had recently played with the Atlanta Falcons, though he had previously played with the Raiders and the Bengals.  

But even before he went pro, he was our friend.  Thomas was one of the nicest guys with a smile that lit up the room.  Even though he was a star on the football field, he was humble and completely grounded in person.  While we were at UTEP, Thomas used to joke with Julian and I saying that we were his "#1 fans."  And we really were, on and off the field.  

Even after we left UTEP, I stayed in contact with him through his winning senior season, a 2nd round NFL draft pick, and his career in the NFL.  We initially sent texts once a month, and eventually a few times a year. We would send pictures of our kids in UTEP gear, remembering always that we were "Miners Forever."

And as happens in life all the time, we recently lost contact with one another.  The last time we talked was in 2012.  And herein lies my regret and a big lesson learned from the news of our friend's death...

When A&M recently played UTEP, I dug up these old pictures.  I must have picked up my phone 15 times to shoot him a quick text to tell him I was thinking about him, to send him a picture of my kids in their UTEP gear, to remind him of his time as a UTEP star.  

But every time I pulled out my phone, I got distracted.  I never finished writing the text.  I didn't hit send.  

And now that he's gone, so too is my chance at reconnecting with our old friend.  

Like so many others, we are so sad to hear of his death.  The sadness and regret I feel is very strong.  It reminds me to not put off until tomorrow what I can do today and to not leave anything unsaid.  It reminds me to reconnect with those I've lost touch with and remind them of the good times we had together.

We won't forget our friend, Thomas, and the legacy he left, on and off the field.  He may have been Mr. 53, but to us, he will always be UTEP #40.  Let it serve as a reminder to us all that life is too short.